NY Walk

It is written in the Bible that “…the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

I am learning the meaning of this as I grow more mature.

It was 1975 when I first came to New York. Come to think of it, I was brave. No, I was reckless.

I asked around and decided on International House near Columbia University as a temporary abode. What I knew about the USA was only from slices of movie imagery. I hadn’t properly studied U.S. history or American culture. I just took the TOEFL and arrived with a Visa and an admission card.

All I went to America for was to continue my studies and to avoid the people who stood in line waiting to inquire about my intentions to marry after having seen and circled several times a small black-and-white photograph of mine in the Ewha University yearbook; I didn’t have any ambitions of making an impact on the world. A vague yearning for America was a thing in Korea. There was no suggestion or pressure on my parents’ side.

I came out of my place well dressed in the clothes I had packed with great care, and looking around the neighborhood, I find African Americans loitering and sitting loosely looking up at me. My heart leapt in fright. Later I learned that I was staying in Harlem. President Clinton later retired and opened an office there which led to a better neighborhood, but then, it was a place that people tended to avoid.

I approached a magnificent church nearby. It was Riverside Church, one of several churches built by Rockefeller, the symbol of American Wealth. I went up to the top and looked down at an unfamiliar New York city with its countless buildings. The thought of having no place to stay and no friends fills me with sorrow. My dad had already left for Seoul after seeing me off.

Soon I started studying at Georgetown University. Two years later, my brother also came to New York. I guess he came with no questions asked because his sister was studying here. My parents, who were raising five kids, had no time to spare by suggesting such things. My brother came straight to me by train. We held hands with happy tears – we were the only family members either of us had in the large and vast U.S.

After that, I went to New York by train to cook for my brother every weekend. In those days, we wouldn’t even dare call home, afraid of the cost of international calls. The John Jay dorm rooms in Columbia University, which were used as a concentration camp in the Second World War, were tiny. My brother had my mom’s sense of humor – he wouldn’t complain and said, “It’s so nice to sit on a desk and be able to open the fridge with one swing.” That made me feel even more sorry. Like that, I would get on the train for New York every weekend, and sometimes we would sleep in the crampy room together.

Because we tried live a life outside of just studying, our pockets were always empty despite the money we received from back home. We didn’t ask for more money, though. Still, as we didn’t earn any money, we were always short on money.

I missed just going to school under my parents’ protection without any worry, but I couldn’t go back. On holidays, birthdays, and at Christmas time, we would go to the huge St. Patrick Church where President Kennedy’s funeral had been held, or go to the Plaza, the Pierre, the Carlyle, or St. Regis (all luxury hotels in Manhattan) to enjoy the luxurious and classy lobby and sit on the sofas. And on the last day of a year, we would go to Time Square and greet the new year with Americans, shouting 3, 2, 1 together.

Winters in New York were too cold. My lips were chapped and my cheeks were cold.

In Korea, I often forget about my life here from nearly 40 years ago, but coming back to New York, it returns to me like a scene from a movie.

Standing in front of New York Plaza Hotel, while “The Way We Were” (the heartrending movie with Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford which was filmed in front of the hotel) comes to my mind, our life and love story from a long time ago also come to my mind.

40 years has passed and I hear that the land value of New York, like that of Seoul, has risen tremendously. Look anywhere and you can see tall buildings being constructed. While I still do not have a room of my own in New York after all these years, now I can have a cup of elegant tea at the Plaza, Pierre, and Carlyle, which all still stand tall as landmarks of New York.

It feels as if those cold, difficult and lonely days were only yesterday.

But come to think of it, I had glamorous youth then, and most of all my father and mother were alive. I was innocent and my heart was full of hope.

In those days when I needed “visible” money to buy or ride something, I didn’t even realize that I had such “invisible” blessings. I had foolishly thought that those things would stay forever, and on top of that more fulfillment would come if I tried.

No matter where you are in your life, even if you are in the worst situation, blessings are always with you. It is just that you are not aware of it. This is what I realize anew while taking a walk in New York.

The Columbia Univ. dorm building I used to stay in on the weekend