'I just weed the grave as there is nothing else I can do for you' 'It’s been less than 40 years since we were matched but it will be a hundred thousand years till I forget you'
It was thanks to the ‘Mugunghwa 4’ that my mother’s poems which she composed all her life, generated a great success that 'made the Japanese Islands cry' But I hoped that my father would be alive instead of my mother’s becoming famous.
Many people praised my mother’s devoted love for my father after reading my mother’s poems I published in Korean. A producer who worked in TV, and my junior, had said: Your father must have been quite the man for your mother to continue expressing her love for him even after his death. He was not wrong.
I sometimes wonder how did my parents maintain such a great relationship, was it thanks to my father, or my mother? I thought that a good relationship could be maintained if only one of them was good – but after becoming an adult and seeing the world, I conclude that it was because they both were good.
From my point of view, my father was perfect in every way except for the length of his life in this world. General Paik Sunyup always told me that he respected my father who was his sunbae from Pyongyang University of Education and exceled in every area. Looking back again and again, I climb down the mountain leaving you in the lonely mountain I had nothing to do but weed in front of the grave. I, who take after my father more than my mother, didn’t show my sadness so that I wouldn’t hurt my mother. Leaving my father in desolateness, we went to Sooanbo, ate a few spoonsful of vegetable bibimbap and bathed in hot springs. Sometimes we would visit Okgil Kim, the President of Ewha University who lived in a village nearby then.
We obtained a big mountain in an attempt to dote upon my father better, but my mother felt sorry that my father would have had more company had he lain with other people in the common graveyard. But now it’s been almost 20 years since my mother was buried next to him. Staying at Sooanbo, the memories of spending time with my mother comes to me like it were only yesterday.
Sunbae took us to places like bare Woraksan Mountain. Walking for half a day in Mungyongsaejae Pass was most impressive among them. Even with many autumn leaves fallen, there were a few trees in the pass, baking in sunlight, boasting red colors with the blue sky as background.
Long ago during the Joseon dynasty, you had to cross Mungyongsaejae Pass to go to Hanyang for the civil service exam. Straightening my posture like a classical scholar, following the trail feels fresh. The rare clear light made the surrounding scenery even more beautiful.
Walking for a while, we find a big signboard that says 'Private property of Daesung Industries' Below the signboard says 'Nature ecosystem of clean forest, permanently preserved for descendants' I can’t believe that this long trail is private property.
O, a distant and dim memory from a few decades ago comes to me. My friend from childhood had told me this. A junior accompanying me argues that it is a national park even though the signboard says it’s private property. They can’t believe that this enormous chunk of mountain belongs to someone.
I had visited my friend’s place in Donam dong who had just transferred from Daegu. My friend’s father came in the room and asked what my father’s name was. The young me was hearing that kind of question for the first time, and wondered if he, who just came from Daegu, would know my father’s name even if I told him – but I answered anyway. And he was glad to hear that, saying he knew my father very well. I still remember his bright smile. Now that I think about it, my father, who came from Pyongyang to Seoul, started his job at Commerce and Industry Ministry after passing the Higher Civil Service Examination - and my friend’s father ran a coal company in Daegu- that’s probably how they knew each other. It was a small world then, too.
I saw him from time to time, and I remember him as broad-minded – always smiling with a pleasing voice. In his later years, I built a place for art in our house and rented a place for a French restaurant – the first in Korea – he often visited our restaurant with his sons not knowing it was our place.
And that very person bought Juheulsan Mountain and Mungyongsaejae Pass 52 years ago with a vision for greenification – he needed timber for mining – and devoted his entire life to the greenification to aide an entire country was stripped of trees. And the mountain is now greenified, and many people are walking and enjoying the mountain without paying a fee. The mountain and water look great to my eye, and I hear that a lot of people go there – my heart is moved at the meaning hidden inside.
One came to Seoul from Pyongyang and Manchuria, and the other came to Seoul from Daegu. But they all shared this: they pioneered the new generation with ups and downs, and made a great success in their own field.
It was a valuable opportunity for me to remember the two fathers who knew their purpose in their life and lived a valuable, meaningful life and left great legacies for the country.
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